This Is Not A Dungeon is a strategic reverse tower defense where you ARE the dungeon. Build your home from bottom to top, place traps with perfect timing, and deploy a colorful cast of "household staff" to convince these rude visitors that breaking and entering has consequences.
You're a retired wizard who just wants to tend his garden and read spell books in peace. Unfortunately, your cozy underground home keeps attracting "heroes" who assume anything with stone walls and a portcullis must be evil. Time to teach these trespassers some manners.
Key Features
● Play as the dungeon itself - Unique perspective where you ARE the tactical map
● Strategic room drafting - Build your tower through randomized room selection
● Wanted Poster deployment system - Hire diverse minions without spamming favorites
● Dual magic systems - Quick cantrips and powerful dark magic for crisis moments
● Expressive hero AI - Parties that loot, rest, argue, and split based on their personalities
● Dynamic property management - Rooms decay and require maintenance between invasions
● Vertical tower construction - Build from ground floor to your 9th-story Wizard Room
● Room synergy system - Adjacent rooms provide floor-wide tactical bonuses
● Run-based progression - Unlock new posters and units between retirement attempts
Room System
Who knew retirement planning could be so tactical? Draft rooms strategically to create the perfect “welcome mat” for uninvited guests. Build your tower from a cozy 7-room ground floor to an impressive 9-story castle, with thoughtful room synergies that prove even retired wizards know how to throw a proper housewarming party.
Play As The Dungeon Itself
A strategically placed Bear makes an excellent doorman for unwanted visitors. Retirement doesn't mean you've lost your edge, especially when dealing with trespassers who clearly never learned about knocking first. Deploy your collection of traps, spells, and enthusiastic security staff to remind these adventurers that some homes come with consequences.
Your hiring system works through gold and Wanted Posters, preventing you from filling every room with the same creature. This forces creative staffing decisions and keeps each invasion feeling fresh as you adapt your security team to whatever new batch of heroes decides to test your patience.
Hero Behavior
These aren’t your mindless button mashers. These heroes each pack their own annoying habits that'll have you second guessing every room you place. Watch Paladins march through your home like they're conducting a holy inspection, dead set on trashing your beloved Dark Altar setup, while Thieves waltz into your Treasure Rooms like they're browsing at the mall and Bards make everything ten times worse by cheerleading from the sidelines.
Then there's the Berserkers, who apparently missed the memo about teamwork and go charging off alone into whatever room catches their fancy, turning your simple Treasure Room into a strategic headache of "okay, which moron am I dealing with today?"
Ready to defend your own wizard retirement home? Add to your wishlist and get notified the moment these heroes need teaching.